For beating up a little classroom bully known for pushing your kid around and hitting him?
I told my boy, even if he gets in trouble with the teacher for whooping this kids @ss, he wouldn%26#039;t be in trouble with mommy and daddy, and we were going to do all of the things I mentioned to celebrate. Is this a bad idea? I%26#039;m trying to get the boy to grow some balls and stand up to these little 5-6 year old punks in his kindergarden class. Any other suggestions? I%26#039;ve truly had it with the caliber of classmates he has here.|||Funny thing, the other day my 6 year old told me he has been getting hit and pushed around at school.
I too told him to hit the little bully square in the mouth! I told him to stand up for himself and not to allow people to walk on him.
I think throwing him a party is over the top by a ways but telling him to stand up for himself is not in anyway wrong!
I%26#039;m not raising a pacifist, nor am I raising a war monger. But I feel that in this day and age too many people are worried about being %26quot;politically correct%26quot;, and they all say %26quot;oh he is mean or abusive or whatever because he was abused as a child, his parents were drunks blah blah blah%26quot;, and they all wanna say lets get together and TALK and take anti-depressants and sh*t. Well screw that! Life isn%26#039;t always about peace and kindness and a 45 minute hour with your d*mn therapist!
If someone hits you once shame on them, if they hit you twice shame on you for not standing up for yourself and refusing to be treated badly!
So in a nutshell...throwing a party for your kid is wrong, telling him to be a strong, decisive and fearless human being is NOT!!!|||Rewarding him for fighting...Hmmmm..what%26#039;s wrong with this picture?|||It%26#039;s not a great idea for a student to fight in school these days. They will be charged and sent into the juvenile court system. They also could be forced to go to an %26quot;alternative%26quot; school for multiple incidents. This usually applies to middle and high school students though.
I know if I ever hit someone in school my parents would have severely punished me for it. I would have also ended up with a juvenile criminal record.|||well i went thru da same thing wen i was lil... some girl was bulling me an **** n my dad told me to hit her bak watever she did to me for me to do it right bak... n dats exactly wat i did n she stopped.. so F*K it... tell ur lil boy to whoooooop hes a*ssssss|||Sounds like your child%26#039;s teachers aren%26#039;t doing their job. If you have talked to them %26amp; your child is still being bullied, I would go to the director or principle of the school. If that doesn%26#039;t work, snatch his @ss right out of that school %26amp; send him somewhere else. Just b/c your son isn%26#039;t hitting back, doesn%26#039;t mean he is a wimp. He is just doing what he has been taught. My 11 year old son is the same way. He won%26#039;t hit unless it is absolutely necessary. He uses his words. For example, a boy called him a spoiled %26quot;white boy%26quot;(my son is bi-racial), so CT called him racesis. The kid never called my son a name again. I%26#039;ve always told my son kids that make fun of you or bully you, are just jealous b/c they want to be you. Your son sounds like a lover not a fighter.|||I would never teach my son that beating up another child is the right thing to do. That does not teach your child confidence, it just teaches HIM to be the bully (which sounds like it, too, would be okay with you).
I have a few suggestions. Talk to the school administration, tell them about how the kids don%26#039;t get along. Maybe they can put your son in another class.
If that isn%26#039;t an option, how about a different school? Maybe a private or charter school. My son goes to a charter school which is a public school that can have different curriculum than a public school and they have far more control of the children, with smaller class sizes and a firm disciplinary policy.
If that isn%26#039;t an option either, why don%26#039;t you try enrolling your son in a taekwondo or karate class. It will help him learn techniques to defend himself WITHOUT violence (believe it or not) because it will help with self-esteem so he can feel better about walking away and not messing with the riff-raff (and thereby becoming one of them). My son can be a victim when he allows himself to be but taekwondo has helped tremendously.
I hope you find a way to deal with your son and this issue without resorting to bribery to make your son a bully. There ARE options.|||I wouldn%26#039;t teach your child to sink to the level of the bully. No you should not reward him for this behavior. Tell him that you are talking to the teacher and principal and will have a meeting with the Bully%26#039;s parents etc... (and do it) otherwise your teaching him to be a bully himself. Tell him the kids that are bully%26#039;s at school are usually bullied at home. Not that he%26#039;s going to %26quot;get that%26quot; but you will. Teach him that %26quot;To have control over oneself is to be powerful%26quot;|||When you notice non-compliance, first give a reminder. Remember to make direct eye contact. This simple strategy will work most of the time.
Begin to think of an effective consequence if the reminder doesn%26#039;t work.
An effective consequence is 1) clear and specific; 2) logically related to the misbehavior, 3) time-limited; 4) varied.
Continued misbehavior requires a warning of the consequence. Move closer to the child than normal conversational distance and make direct and prolonged eye contact.
Be very specific about your expectation and the time frame for compliance. Tell him exactly what the consequence of noncompliance will be.
Walk away and give him the opportunity to comply.
If the warning doesn%26#039;t work, send the child to his room while you both cool off.
Ignore arguing, whining, or expressions of anger.
After a few minutes go to the child%26#039;s room. Speak calmly and without emotion. Explain that the consequence is now in effect and how long it will last.
Avoid power struggles by listening to your child and helping him plan how he will do what it is that you ask of him.
Don%26#039;t let the consequence slide. Enforce it.
Forgive your child for his misbehavior. Start with a clean slate. Don%26#039;t dwell on past mistakes
Tips:
Don%26#039;t use yelling, sarcasm, name calling, insulting or hitting. Keep your own emotions in control
Do show respect for your child and recognize his good intentions. Let him know that you know he wants to do the right thing and you are here to help him learn how.
Don%26#039;t keep a running tab of your child%26#039;s misbehavior. Implement consequences for misbehavior then let it go.|||Well, you may end up developing a bully of your own if you positively reinforce violent behavior.
It would be better just to be supportive and rewarding.|||Yes, it is wrong to excessively reward a child for using physical violence to solve the problem. You are sending the wrong message to use violence to solve a problem before attempting a peaceful resolution. By all means, if a kid tries to hit him, then he should defend himself. But, it is likely that your son will be the one who ends up getting into a ton of trouble at school. Make sure that the teacher, principal, and then the school district are aware of this. Talk to the bully%26#039;s parents and tell them that you want this resolved.
If your son ends up whooping the other kids bottom, then your son could end up in juvenile detention for assault. Teach him how to deal with this situation with words worst, and defend himself if necessary, but to not step over the line.|||How many school shooting were kids who were tired of being picked on in school?
Boy you could go either way with that one.
I just had this situation with my daughter. Kids were throwing a tennis ball at her on the bus so she told them to stop because if she caught it it would go out the window - they did, she did. I was so proud of her for standing up for herself and following through with her warning but reminded her that she could have been disciplined by the school for throwing things out of the window.
Kids do need to stand up for themselves but they need to do it appropritely and I don%26#039;t think kicking another kid%26#039;s @$$ is it - unless he is truly defending himself and he gets the better of the other kid. Cool - but don%26#039;t reward it. He%26#039;ll get his reward when the other kids show him more respect.
Also find out if he is bringing some of the bullying on himself. My daughter is a smart mouth, impulsive and bossy - basically she has a huge bully target on her head. Find out from the teacher what is going on on both sides of the issue.|||What are you doing! Go to the school principal and tell them what is going on . You`re just going to turn your son into a bully.|||The best way to stop a bully is to stand up to one....I%26#039;ll agree with you as far as that goes. I don%26#039;t know about rewarding it though I don%26#039;t think I%26#039;d punish either. My sister, who was a pretty, skinny, blond haired, blue-eyed girl, was always having trouble with other girls who said she was stealing their boyfriends. One day 4 of them jumped her in the girl%26#039;s bathroom 3 held her down while the other punched her. The girls got reprimanded but nothing really happened to them. After that the girls kept taunting her and so my dad told her to do what she had to do. She had studied tae-kwon-do (sp?). She got them back the next time they tried to pick on her but she ended up breaking one of their knee caps and got suspended. I won%26#039;t say I think what happened was the right thing to do but no one ever picked on her again.|||Such a tough question.. I recently had the same issue though with my son.. I don%26#039;t want to teach him to be a bully.. or that it is okay to hit people... but enough is enough.. How many times can you %26quot;talk to his teacher%26quot;.. or tell you kid to tell the teacher when another kid is bullying him? Sure, I don%26#039;t want my kid to be the little violent jerk at school.. but at the same time.. I don%26#039;t want him to be the little whiney tattle tale pu$$y who runs away and tell the teacher every time some kid is being nasty and pushing him around. So once I talked to the school enough.. and felt my son had dealt with enough from this kid.. I sat him down and said %26quot;you know what.. the next time little %26quot;Bobby%26quot; so and so pushes you down and throws mulch at you.. I want you to get up.. push him and throw mulch right back at him%26quot;... My son is not violent and I am not teaching him to be violent.. I don%26#039;t give a $hit what anyone says.. I am not going to have my son grow up a pushover... It doesn%26#039;t matter if he keeps telling the teacher.. it doesn%26#039;t matter how many times I talk to the school.. He may still be pushed around.. at least he knows now that if little %26quot;Bobby%26quot; so and so pushes him.. he can push back.. This is the real world.. not some fairy tale.. Little boys are going to grow up getting into Physical altercations with other boys.. I don%26#039;t promote violence to my son.. He knows it is not OKAY to start fights.. but it is okay to fight back when you are being bullied.. I am not going to have him getting beat up his whole life because I taught him just to %26quot;turn the other cheek%26quot; or something. So enough of my long story.. And back to your question..
No I have no other suggestions for you.. I think it is perfectly fine to tell your son to fight back once you have had you%26#039;re fill of dealing with teachers who really are no help at all.
I don%26#039;t think you should throw a party to reward him of for defending himself... but I don%26#039;t think there is anything wrong with teaching him to fight back.|||I UNDERSTAND YOUR POINT IN WANTING YOUR CHILD TO DEFEND HIMSELF,BUT WE ARE TALKING 5 AND 6 YEAR OLDS. THEY ARE GOING TO FIGHT AMONGST THEMSELVES. LET HIM WORK IT OUT ON HIS OWN. REWARDING A CHILD FOR BEATING ANOTHER ONE UP IS WRONG. LET THE KIDS WORK IT OUT. THEY WILL IN THEIR OWN TIME ANYWAY. STEP BACK.|||I would put my kid in a martial art class, something like kung fu or karate do. I would tell him, not to tell anyone at his school about his new class. Then when he gets well trained, he can beat up all the bullies at school, or at least try to defend himself. Martial arts give a well sense of confidence, physical and mental strenght. I have a 1 yr. old, but when he get a little older I will def. take him to practice a martial art (if he wants to and likes it).|||Okay, so what%26#039;s the reward when he murders somebody at 14? just curios.|||i think your an idiot. you are teaching him its ok to be the class bully. teach him to tell the teacher or report it when he tells you himself. see if you can switch him to a different class, but dont encourage violence it doesnt solve anything. no he shouldnt get those things|||I think thats terrible parenting. Move him to another class or move to another house and send him to another school. Before you know it, he will be kicked out of Kindergarten for his behaivor and social services will knock on your door.
I don%26#039;t really think your question is even true because I can%26#039;t imagine anyone could have so little class.|||Yes, it is wrong, because you will be turning HIM into the class/school bully and he will end up with no friends. Talk to the principal of the school and report the bullies. Also you and the principal together need to talk to the teacher and let them know it is a problem and she needs to control her class better. The principal also needs to talk to the parents of the other kids so they get punished.|||That is wrong because it encourages violence. I%26#039;m sure you don%26#039;t want your son to be violent and you want him to stand up for himself but , to be frank, you are going the wrong way with it.
One should avoid violence at all costs. Telling your son he will be rewarded by hitting a bully kid will make him want to hit any kid for no reason because he thinks he will be rewarded by it. It would be easy for your son to say he was attacked and fought back. See what I%26#039;m saying? You could be turning your son into a bully by rewarding him for violence.
You should reward him for telling the teacher when he is being hurt and/or telling the bully kid that what he is doing is not nice and to stop. Tell your son it is ok to fight back if there is no one to help him.|||Teaching your child to kick some kids ***? And that doesn%26#039;t sound bad to you?
Look, at 5 %26amp; 6 years old--kids don%26#039;t need balls! They need adults to help them figure out problems--not adults telling them to whoop some kid%26#039;s butt for picking on him. His kindness might be mistaken for weakness, but his kicking kid%26#039;s asses is going to be mistaken for something else that%26#039;s going to get him in even more trouble. Maybe you should grow some brains...
Okay, here%26#039;s what you do: You quit going to the teachers. Go straight to the principal of the school and say %26quot;Look here! These kids are picking on him and they need to be punished before someone gets hurt!%26quot; Teachers aren%26#039;t going to do anything about it (been there, done that). Or if all else fails--switch schools! Your son is going to be stuck with these kids until 12th grade--you don%26#039;t think they%26#039;re gonna get worse? Switch schools and put him in a school with different kids who aren%26#039;t evil. Don%26#039;t let your kid stoop down to their level by letting him kick *** when he gets picked on.|||If it were my son, I would be having a serious talk with the administration of the school.
If that didn%26#039;t help, I%26#039;d be pulling my son from the school. Teaching your child to beat up other kids when he%26#039;s 5 or 6 years old is not the way to handle things. I%26#039;m not saying that he should just curl up in a ball and let them beat his ***, but don%26#039;t teach him to be the first one to hit.
If they hit him, he has every right to hit back. I had a friend who%26#039;s mom told her that she had better never throw the first punch, but she should always throw the last one, lol.
Don%26#039;t promise him a party, but let him know that he needs to stand up for himself, or the kids are never going to stop teasing him.|||With this kind of guidance, your kid will probably become the NEW class bully|||To me, it doesn%26#039;t sound like a good idea. It looks like you%26#039;re encouraging him to fight. I don%26#039;t blame you for wanting him to stand up for himself, but there has got to be another way.|||I agree with you. I wish we had taught my nephew how to fight in kindergarten. Since fourth grade the bullies have zeroed in on him. They know he won%26#039;t fight back. It does no good to talk to the teachers or principals nor the Board of Education in Columbus Ohio. He is now in middle school. Last week he was beaten so severely that he urinated blood all weekend. They put two of the bullies out of school for a couple of days. The next week after the bruises started to fade and he was getting better they said we should have taken him to his pediatrician the day it happened and documented the bruises and they could have filed charges. Wonder why they didn%26#039;t tell us this the day it happened? Probably afraid of the publicity. I am considering putting him in self defense classes. We tell him if he fights back and gets into trouble with the school we will not punish him but cheer for him. So in my eyes no you are not wrong as long as you teach your son not to pick on others and only fight when it is to defend himself from being bullied.|||i personally dont think that is a bad thing my parents told me the same thing when i was growing up, %26quot;if they hit you first then have at them, i%26#039;ll back you up.%26quot; and i have been in a couple of fights when i was younger(grad. high school already) and i didnt get in trouble with my parents but i was taught that fighting just for the heck of it wasnt an excuse to try and pick a fight just because you knew you wouldnt get in trouble.|||i understand what you are trying to do,but all you are really doing is teaching him to be like those other boys.it is probably VERY confusing to him.tell him he should defend hiself ,but violence is NEVER the right answer.|||You know youre going to get some tongue lashings for this one!!! AND, I don%26#039;t think condoning violence is the way to go!!!! But I do have a little girl who is now 11, but was also very passive. I did the same thing and she did not become violent but learned that she didn%26#039;t have to hit or be violent, but when she stood up for herself, that alone scared the brat (boy) and he left her alone! She did learn that she doesn%26#039;t need to be scared!|||No, it is not wrong to teach your child that it is OK to stand up for himself. If he doesn%26#039;t learn now, he will be picked on all his life.
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